Category Archives: Funny Wedding Stories

Take 2

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photos by Jennifer Kiewit

Jack and Mick got married at Oakledge Park the other day.  It’s such a wonderful spot to do ceremonies, as it’s less than 10 minutes from downtown Burlington, and just effortlessly beautiful.

Jack set up a video camera to record the ceremony, and then, with the heart of an auteur, switched the camera angle and asked me to repeat the vow section so that he’d have more footage to work with when he edited the film together.

They each pulled off their rings , and we started over.  But then just as Mick was finishing his vows – no less beautiful, meaningful, and tear-inducing than the first time – a big bug flew down my shirt.  A really big bug.  There was no faking ceremony then.  I absolutely had to shake myself out.

This resulted in what British actors call “corpsing.”   Uncontrollable giggles which bring a scene to a complete and crashing halt.

I bet not many wedding videos have out-takes.  But Jack now has plenty of material!

Losing it for the camera.

Who Are You? POSSLQ!

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I was chatting tonight with Raechel and Jessica, who’ll be coming up to Vermont to get married in August.

In going over the structural elements of the ceremony, one of the things they brought up was what to call each other after they’re married.  They’ve been together for a while, and already refer to each other as their “partner.”  However, getting legally married is something new and significant, and they feel there should be another, more meaningful referent they can use.

This, of course, makes sense.  It’s what a lot of people do.  They go from lover/boy-or-girlfriend to partner, fiance(e), husband, wife, etc…  But there’s one catch here.  Jessica hates the word “wife.”  Doesn’t want to use it.  Ev-er.

We didn’t craft an immediate solution this evening, but as a writer, and serious logophile, I’m excited to see what we can come up with – either in creating a word ourselves or finding one from another language.

Also, if any of you out there in Webland have any suggestions, we’ll take ’em!

In the interim, I’m reminded of a poem by Charles Osgood about a term coined in the late 1970s by the Census Bureau to reflect the prevalence of non-marital co-habitation in the US.   Yes, we’re talking about the clunky-but-famous “Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters.”

Take it away, Mr. Osgood…

My POSSLQ

Come live with me and be my love,
And we will some new pleasures prove
Of golden sands and crystal brooks
With silken lines, and silver hooks.
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
If you would be my POSSLQ.

You live with me, and I with you,
And you will be my POSSLQ.
I’ll be your friend and so much more;
That’s what a POSSLQ is for.

And everything we will confess;
Yes, even to the IRS.
Some day on what we both may earn,
Perhaps we’ll file a joint return.
You’ll share my pad, my taxes, joint;
You’ll share my life – up to a point!
And that you’ll be so glad to do,
Because you’ll be my POSSLQ.

The Horse Ate My…

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Last Friday I officiated at the sweet little wedding of Desiree and Stephen in Stowe.  It was a small gathering, with both their families and their kids.

Thanks to Rochelle (and her beautiful white Percherons) at Gentle Giants Rides, we took a horse-drawn wagon through a park to a gazebo where we kicked out some picnickers, and quickly performed the ceremony.

Actually, we didn’t kick them out.  They were gone by the time we got there.  But we would have kicked them out.

While we were doing the matrimonial deed, the horses got their reins tangled, and Rochelle needed some assistance holding the horses while she unhitched, detangled, and re-hitched.

So the non-heels-wearing members of the party (i.e. the men) went over to lend a hand, and while Stephen was calming one of the horses, the other one ate his boutonniere.  That’s gratitude for ya.

Stephen and Julian – boutonniere still intact.